That feeling of recent connection - the texts, the summer plans in Newport...- makes this loss all the more painful. I'm so sorry, Barbara.
I now remember meeting you on Esmond's porch for tea. That memory just came back to me - it must have been when you got to hold Lilly and play with Alfred.
He was your agent and your friend. Each relationship with him was unique, yet he brought the same warmth and care to all.
If you’re ever in Newport let’s get together. I live in Jamestown, so just over the bridge. I’d love to hear more of your stories about what a special human being he was.
Oh, Diana, if words could bring a person back to life, your beautiful remembrances here do just that, reviving the memory of this beautiful, sweet, loving soul! Thank you for these lively memories!!
Thank you so much for your lovely comment. It means the world to hear from Esmond's family and to know that my memories of him resonate with how you knew him too. "Extremely wonderful, clever, loyal, and very funny" - you've captured his essence perfectly in just a few words. Xxx
Dear Diana If you could please let everyone know that there will be two Memorial Services for Esmond one in the UK and one in Newport. We would love for as many as would so be able to attend to please come everyone is so welcome. For UK Monday 9th June at Chelsea Old Church 64 Cheyne Walk London, SW3 5DQ at 3pm I will follow with Newport details too. Tamara x
Thank you for your piece about Esmond. It was beautiful.
I just shared this with a group of funders focused on international LGBTQ equality that he and I were a part of.
I had a hard time sleeping last night after learning the news and wanted to share some of my own experience with Esmond, who I knew for 20 years.
When we were working to defend marriage equality beginning in 2003 in the very first state in the US, Massachusetts, we were facing serious blowback – from the Catholic Church and leading politicians of both parties – and we were having a very difficult time raising the funds we needed to put together the field, lobbying and media campaign we needed to protect the decision.
We developed a TV ad that we thought nailed our argument and wanted to do a statewide run of it – to show lawmakers and the public how serious we were and why marriage mattered so much. But at that time we had zero idea where we’d raise the funds (our biggest grant in the earliest days in Massachusetts was $50K). We were introduced to Esmond, who then lived and worked in Boston, and we showed him the spot. He asked us how much the run would cost, we told him $274K – and within two days, that amount was wired into our account (I’ll never forget when those funds hit!). It had the dramatic effect in the State House and outside that we were hoping for – and Esmond’s investment completely elevated our game about what we could and should be raising to hold onto marriage in Massachusetts and beyond.
Fast forward a decade – I had decided to write a book on the marriage fights in the US and reached out to Esmond – who was a high-profile agent with expertise on business-focused books. I had no idea if he’d want to take my project on – but there was zero hesitation on his part. What was most exceptional – and said so much about him – was that he treated me and my book like I imagine he treated a NY Times best-selling author: laying out the process, making edits to my pitch, updating me on how the selling was going, giving me marketing tips, and the like.
I wouldn’t say we were close friends, but we were certainly fellow travelers over these 20 years – each of us having two kids in our 50s and comparing notes about child-raising and sharing pix (and before that sharing pix of our yellow labs!), sharing thoughts about the state of the world, committed to doing our part to advance LGBTQ equality, and always laughing together at the absurdities and ironies he LOVED to share.
Wow! Thank you for sharing these powerful memories of Esmond. What an incredible impact that single act had on the course of LGBTQ rights in America! And your experience with him as your agent mirrors what others have shared - how he treated every author with the same level of dedication and respect, regardless of their profile.
Here's to yellow Lab and dads sharing baby photos! I love the "fellow travelers" description... might have to borrow that.
He was clearly a fairy godfather to so many as he was to me. I was one of his writers, and we'd fallen out of touch during the pandemic. We exchanged emails last month and planned to meet in a few weeks. I was looking forward to swapping tales of our children, who were born during the pandemic. I can not process that meal will not happen now.
"Fairy godfather" - he did have that magical quality of appearing when needed and making impossible things happen. There's something especially cruel about reconnecting after a period apart, making plans full of hope and anticipation, only to have them suddenly impossible. Sending you gentle thoughts.
This is a beautiful letter. Esmond would have loved it.
I first met Esmond in 2003 at a literary gathering in Boston. I thought he was an absolute babe -- and yes, I shamelessly hit on him when we first met. Not my most subtle moment. I soon learned his boyfriend at the time was from my own hometown of Worcester, MA. Esmond handled it all with such grace, sensitivity, and good humor -- classic him. We laughed about it and became fast friends.
I have the most vivid, joyful memories of being his house guest at the Four Winds in Newport, Rhode Island. Once, we played an epic game of "sardines" with a big group of friends, and on another occasion, we crossed the street to a fundraiser at Marble House and lit up the dance floor like we owned it. He had season tickets to the Red Sox and would share them with me -- he was generous like that. Generous with his time, his laughter, his friendship.
Esmond was hilarious, whip smart, effortlessly charming, and just plain adorable. He made people feel good. He made *me* feel good. He’d moved his primary home from Boston to London, and we'd been meaning to catch up in person. We had plans to see each other last summer… but life got in the way. And now, heartbreakingly, we won't be laughing together in person again.
I will miss him more than words can say. He was the best.
This is beautiful - so thankful you shared such wonderful. Esmond and I had a wonderful relationship for many years as he was my literary agent but that barely says what he was in my life.
I’d fall from much of life including my life as an author due to addiction and gone dark for more than a decade and when I came back and needed an agent so I could tell my story and help others he never hesitated taking me back as a client even though odds were low that I’d emerge soon with a big book after such circumstances.
He spent the time with me and my work regardless as we had maintained the relationship and he wanted to help. My memoir Dear William published in late 2021 through a smaller indie press thanks to Esmond. Through that book I have been able to help many get help with addiction and emerged as a speaker in schools to students and parents throughout the country and more.
We celebrated that often and he’d helped me recently on my next book called The Gift. I was expecting a call from Esmond that never came.
I will miss him as you and so many others but his intelligence and gifts will continue. Dear William is in development as a movie and I got to share the script with him a few weeks ago and got to hear his delight and how much he loved seeing our journey come full circle.
Thank you for sharing this. I will miss Esmond as well. Very much.
Your story moved me. Thank you for taking the time to share this with us. Your story is so inspiring and it shows Esmond's character - his belief in people, patience, and his generosity of spirit.
I'm in awe of your journey and the impact your work is having on others struggling with addiction. My heart lifted when I read that Esmond got to witness your book's success and even see the movie script. How wonderful!! I can imagine how delighted he must have been.
It breaks my heart to read that you were expecting a call from him that never came.
I'd love to read Dear William. And I look forward to following The Gift and the movie development.
I really enjoyed reading this. Often, when I hear someone I've known has died, I find myself thinking about them and wondering about all the pieces of their life. I Googled Esmond in that spirit and found your essay. This all fits with what I knew of him but adds so much depth and spirit. We lived in the same dorm during our first year of college, and he was my literary agent for a while. Someone I knew, but from a distance. Thanks for bringing him to life for me. That might sound ironic given the circumstances, but I love to think that death is not the end for anyone.
Thank you for your beautiful comment. It's fun how your lives intersected in various ways - that you knew Esmond both as a college roommate and later as your literary agent. I love to think that death is not the end either. I don't find your comment ironic at all. In fact, I find great comfort in the idea that he continues to live in a new way through our stories and memories. So glad that my letter helped bring Esmond to life for you in a fuller way. I'd love to hear any of your memories from college, etc. Best, Diana
Sure, I could share some memories. So... Esmond and I weren't roommates, but we did live in the same dorm during our first year at Brown. We were actually on different floors and didn't spend that much time together, but somehow, I knew who he was and he knew who I was (all in a very nice way). We always greeted each other if we saw each other around the campus. After that first year, I wrote a column for the college paper, and Esmond often stopped me to tell me he had read my column that week and really liked it. It meant a lot to me: just felt fabulous to think that he was reading and enjoying what I was writing. At one point, I won a small award--nothing remotely stupendous--but somehow he heard about it and stopped me to congratulate me. It all showed a real generosity of spirit.
Years later, I discovered that he was a literary agent, and I contacted him about a manuscript I'd written. I wasn't sure if he'd remember me, but I figured I remembered him, so there was certainly a chance. He totally did remember and took me on as a client. I remember a lot of gatherings at his Boston apartment for various writers in the area. I found it amazing that he was willing to open his home like that and always had a fantastic time. I particularly remember this older woman--super elegant and fashionable--who went to one of those gatherings. She wasn't a writer but was somehow in Esmond's orbit, and I was so charmed. I wish I remembered her name. I remember thinking that I would never have met someone like her anyplace except at Esmond's party.
It's funny how sometimes we connect with people for seemingly random reasons and wind up intertwined with them in interesting ways. When I heard Esmond died, I felt really bad about it. A few friends contacted me when they heard because they remembered that Esmond and I had worked together. They'd met him in various circumstances and told me how nice, generous, and charming he was. He didn't live long enough, but he sure left a great impression among many.
I so loved reading this, thank you, so lovely to get to know him more through the eyes of others. Esmond was my Great Uncle, I remember as children him being so proud of being such, when he was a year younger than me! It has been a joy to get to know him so much more since his move to London and to see him with his darling little ones. Tamara x
Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a great deal to hear from Esmond's family. It's so great that you had the chance to reconnect with him in London and to see him with his little ones. He was such a devoted parent. x Diana
Oh no. I certainly didn’t know him well but loved how Edmond loved his animals. You brought him to life in such a beautiful and compassionate and personal way. So sorry for the loss of your friend.
He was my agent too. The very definition of larger-than-life. He paid for my book party knowing I couldn't have afforded to have one. I, too, was in touch with him only a few weeks ago and he said we would meet when he was next in NYC in a month or two. I was so looking forward to seeing him over a meal. He touched so many, and it's wonderful to see these tributes.
That was Esmond! What you write above —thank you by the way—truly captures his spirit. I am so glad he paid to host your book party. It speaks volumes about who he was as both an agent and as a human being. And it shows he really believed in you as both a human and as a writer.
I understand how painful and unfair it feels to make plans for the future that now won't come to pass. Just surreal.
Thank you for keeping his spirit alive amongst us.
Anita, I understand that feeling of bereavement so deeply. So impossible to process. I don't have any information about NYC-based memorials yet, but I will absolutely let you know if I hear of anything being organized. Big hug
Dear Barbara,
That feeling of recent connection - the texts, the summer plans in Newport...- makes this loss all the more painful. I'm so sorry, Barbara.
I now remember meeting you on Esmond's porch for tea. That memory just came back to me - it must have been when you got to hold Lilly and play with Alfred.
He was your agent and your friend. Each relationship with him was unique, yet he brought the same warmth and care to all.
If you’re ever in Newport let’s get together. I live in Jamestown, so just over the bridge. I’d love to hear more of your stories about what a special human being he was.
Oh, Diana, if words could bring a person back to life, your beautiful remembrances here do just that, reviving the memory of this beautiful, sweet, loving soul! Thank you for these lively memories!!
Dear Patricia, that is the best description: beautiful, sweet, loving soul! Thank you.
Love love this, sums up Esmond so well l, my much younger extremely wonderful clever loyal and very funny Uncle. Xxx
Dear Geraldine,
Thank you so much for your lovely comment. It means the world to hear from Esmond's family and to know that my memories of him resonate with how you knew him too. "Extremely wonderful, clever, loyal, and very funny" - you've captured his essence perfectly in just a few words. Xxx
Look forward to meeting you soon X
You captured Esmond's essence beautifully.
Thank you mom!!
Dear Diana If you could please let everyone know that there will be two Memorial Services for Esmond one in the UK and one in Newport. We would love for as many as would so be able to attend to please come everyone is so welcome. For UK Monday 9th June at Chelsea Old Church 64 Cheyne Walk London, SW3 5DQ at 3pm I will follow with Newport details too. Tamara x
Thank you so much Tamara!
Thank you for your piece about Esmond. It was beautiful.
I just shared this with a group of funders focused on international LGBTQ equality that he and I were a part of.
I had a hard time sleeping last night after learning the news and wanted to share some of my own experience with Esmond, who I knew for 20 years.
When we were working to defend marriage equality beginning in 2003 in the very first state in the US, Massachusetts, we were facing serious blowback – from the Catholic Church and leading politicians of both parties – and we were having a very difficult time raising the funds we needed to put together the field, lobbying and media campaign we needed to protect the decision.
We developed a TV ad that we thought nailed our argument and wanted to do a statewide run of it – to show lawmakers and the public how serious we were and why marriage mattered so much. But at that time we had zero idea where we’d raise the funds (our biggest grant in the earliest days in Massachusetts was $50K). We were introduced to Esmond, who then lived and worked in Boston, and we showed him the spot. He asked us how much the run would cost, we told him $274K – and within two days, that amount was wired into our account (I’ll never forget when those funds hit!). It had the dramatic effect in the State House and outside that we were hoping for – and Esmond’s investment completely elevated our game about what we could and should be raising to hold onto marriage in Massachusetts and beyond.
Fast forward a decade – I had decided to write a book on the marriage fights in the US and reached out to Esmond – who was a high-profile agent with expertise on business-focused books. I had no idea if he’d want to take my project on – but there was zero hesitation on his part. What was most exceptional – and said so much about him – was that he treated me and my book like I imagine he treated a NY Times best-selling author: laying out the process, making edits to my pitch, updating me on how the selling was going, giving me marketing tips, and the like.
I wouldn’t say we were close friends, but we were certainly fellow travelers over these 20 years – each of us having two kids in our 50s and comparing notes about child-raising and sharing pix (and before that sharing pix of our yellow labs!), sharing thoughts about the state of the world, committed to doing our part to advance LGBTQ equality, and always laughing together at the absurdities and ironies he LOVED to share.
I will miss him a lot.
Marc Solomon
Dear Marc,
Wow! Thank you for sharing these powerful memories of Esmond. What an incredible impact that single act had on the course of LGBTQ rights in America! And your experience with him as your agent mirrors what others have shared - how he treated every author with the same level of dedication and respect, regardless of their profile.
Here's to yellow Lab and dads sharing baby photos! I love the "fellow travelers" description... might have to borrow that.
He was clearly a fairy godfather to so many as he was to me. I was one of his writers, and we'd fallen out of touch during the pandemic. We exchanged emails last month and planned to meet in a few weeks. I was looking forward to swapping tales of our children, who were born during the pandemic. I can not process that meal will not happen now.
"Fairy godfather" - he did have that magical quality of appearing when needed and making impossible things happen. There's something especially cruel about reconnecting after a period apart, making plans full of hope and anticipation, only to have them suddenly impossible. Sending you gentle thoughts.
This is a beautiful letter. Esmond would have loved it.
I first met Esmond in 2003 at a literary gathering in Boston. I thought he was an absolute babe -- and yes, I shamelessly hit on him when we first met. Not my most subtle moment. I soon learned his boyfriend at the time was from my own hometown of Worcester, MA. Esmond handled it all with such grace, sensitivity, and good humor -- classic him. We laughed about it and became fast friends.
I have the most vivid, joyful memories of being his house guest at the Four Winds in Newport, Rhode Island. Once, we played an epic game of "sardines" with a big group of friends, and on another occasion, we crossed the street to a fundraiser at Marble House and lit up the dance floor like we owned it. He had season tickets to the Red Sox and would share them with me -- he was generous like that. Generous with his time, his laughter, his friendship.
Esmond was hilarious, whip smart, effortlessly charming, and just plain adorable. He made people feel good. He made *me* feel good. He’d moved his primary home from Boston to London, and we'd been meaning to catch up in person. We had plans to see each other last summer… but life got in the way. And now, heartbreakingly, we won't be laughing together in person again.
I will miss him more than words can say. He was the best.
This is beautiful - so thankful you shared such wonderful. Esmond and I had a wonderful relationship for many years as he was my literary agent but that barely says what he was in my life.
I’d fall from much of life including my life as an author due to addiction and gone dark for more than a decade and when I came back and needed an agent so I could tell my story and help others he never hesitated taking me back as a client even though odds were low that I’d emerge soon with a big book after such circumstances.
He spent the time with me and my work regardless as we had maintained the relationship and he wanted to help. My memoir Dear William published in late 2021 through a smaller indie press thanks to Esmond. Through that book I have been able to help many get help with addiction and emerged as a speaker in schools to students and parents throughout the country and more.
We celebrated that often and he’d helped me recently on my next book called The Gift. I was expecting a call from Esmond that never came.
I will miss him as you and so many others but his intelligence and gifts will continue. Dear William is in development as a movie and I got to share the script with him a few weeks ago and got to hear his delight and how much he loved seeing our journey come full circle.
Thank you for sharing this. I will miss Esmond as well. Very much.
Dear David,
Your story moved me. Thank you for taking the time to share this with us. Your story is so inspiring and it shows Esmond's character - his belief in people, patience, and his generosity of spirit.
I'm in awe of your journey and the impact your work is having on others struggling with addiction. My heart lifted when I read that Esmond got to witness your book's success and even see the movie script. How wonderful!! I can imagine how delighted he must have been.
It breaks my heart to read that you were expecting a call from him that never came.
I'd love to read Dear William. And I look forward to following The Gift and the movie development.
Thank you for commenting.
With gratitude,
Diana
Well you made my day (year). So thankful. Esmond connecting us is a gift. So thankful.
I really enjoyed reading this. Often, when I hear someone I've known has died, I find myself thinking about them and wondering about all the pieces of their life. I Googled Esmond in that spirit and found your essay. This all fits with what I knew of him but adds so much depth and spirit. We lived in the same dorm during our first year of college, and he was my literary agent for a while. Someone I knew, but from a distance. Thanks for bringing him to life for me. That might sound ironic given the circumstances, but I love to think that death is not the end for anyone.
Dear Stephanie,
Thank you for your beautiful comment. It's fun how your lives intersected in various ways - that you knew Esmond both as a college roommate and later as your literary agent. I love to think that death is not the end either. I don't find your comment ironic at all. In fact, I find great comfort in the idea that he continues to live in a new way through our stories and memories. So glad that my letter helped bring Esmond to life for you in a fuller way. I'd love to hear any of your memories from college, etc. Best, Diana
Sure, I could share some memories. So... Esmond and I weren't roommates, but we did live in the same dorm during our first year at Brown. We were actually on different floors and didn't spend that much time together, but somehow, I knew who he was and he knew who I was (all in a very nice way). We always greeted each other if we saw each other around the campus. After that first year, I wrote a column for the college paper, and Esmond often stopped me to tell me he had read my column that week and really liked it. It meant a lot to me: just felt fabulous to think that he was reading and enjoying what I was writing. At one point, I won a small award--nothing remotely stupendous--but somehow he heard about it and stopped me to congratulate me. It all showed a real generosity of spirit.
Years later, I discovered that he was a literary agent, and I contacted him about a manuscript I'd written. I wasn't sure if he'd remember me, but I figured I remembered him, so there was certainly a chance. He totally did remember and took me on as a client. I remember a lot of gatherings at his Boston apartment for various writers in the area. I found it amazing that he was willing to open his home like that and always had a fantastic time. I particularly remember this older woman--super elegant and fashionable--who went to one of those gatherings. She wasn't a writer but was somehow in Esmond's orbit, and I was so charmed. I wish I remembered her name. I remember thinking that I would never have met someone like her anyplace except at Esmond's party.
It's funny how sometimes we connect with people for seemingly random reasons and wind up intertwined with them in interesting ways. When I heard Esmond died, I felt really bad about it. A few friends contacted me when they heard because they remembered that Esmond and I had worked together. They'd met him in various circumstances and told me how nice, generous, and charming he was. He didn't live long enough, but he sure left a great impression among many.
I so loved reading this, thank you, so lovely to get to know him more through the eyes of others. Esmond was my Great Uncle, I remember as children him being so proud of being such, when he was a year younger than me! It has been a joy to get to know him so much more since his move to London and to see him with his darling little ones. Tamara x
Dear Tamara,
Thank you so much for your kind words. It means a great deal to hear from Esmond's family. It's so great that you had the chance to reconnect with him in London and to see him with his little ones. He was such a devoted parent. x Diana
Thank you for this Diana. Still reeling.
You're welcome. It is surreal. Big hug
My sincere condolences to you and his family
Oh no. I certainly didn’t know him well but loved how Edmond loved his animals. You brought him to life in such a beautiful and compassionate and personal way. So sorry for the loss of your friend.
Lovely
Thanks, Jim! You are such a big part of those memories too.
Beautiful tribute,
Thank you David! You would have enjoyed knowing him. You both are so generous and positive.
He was my agent too. The very definition of larger-than-life. He paid for my book party knowing I couldn't have afforded to have one. I, too, was in touch with him only a few weeks ago and he said we would meet when he was next in NYC in a month or two. I was so looking forward to seeing him over a meal. He touched so many, and it's wonderful to see these tributes.
Dear Anita,
That was Esmond! What you write above —thank you by the way—truly captures his spirit. I am so glad he paid to host your book party. It speaks volumes about who he was as both an agent and as a human being. And it shows he really believed in you as both a human and as a writer.
I understand how painful and unfair it feels to make plans for the future that now won't come to pass. Just surreal.
Thank you for keeping his spirit alive amongst us.
Diana, if you know of any NYC-based memorials please let me know. I am bereft at this loss.
Anita, I understand that feeling of bereavement so deeply. So impossible to process. I don't have any information about NYC-based memorials yet, but I will absolutely let you know if I hear of anything being organized. Big hug