Q&A: Unavailable girlfriend puts him on back burner

DEAR DIANA: I’m a 55-year-old man and I’ve been dating a woman of the same age for the past four months. We met in my home group of Alcoholics Anonymous. I’ve been sober 13 years. She’s still working her steps despite ten years of sobriety. We’ve spent hours sharing our most intimate thoughts including her past sexual traumas. The most we’ve ever done is hold hands and been to each other’s homes. Last week, I asked her if I could kiss her. She responded with a “no, I need my space.” That really hurt. I’m so attracted to her. How do I deal with this now? It was her AA birthday yesterday, and I skipped the fellowship birthday dinner. I know I’m a good catch. I’ve got a great life. I’ve been sober 13 years, my businesses are thriving, and I’ve got fulfilling hobbies. I dread running into her at AA. What do I do? — HURT AND REJECTED

DEAR HURT: Four months is a good amount of time, and she’s dropped clues that she was open to more than a friendship. It sounds like you’ve invested time, energy, and emotions in this relationship. Being put on the back burner is painful. I’m sorry this happened to you.