Lacking adult support is painful for children who take on too much
When families—especially single mothers—move and live far away from their families and communities, they become vulnerable.
Not having extended family around causes vulnerabilities to any destabilizing event, such as the unpredictable absence of one parent, be it due to work or illness.
Without a grandparent or other adult around to help with tasks and maintaining boundaries, one of the children takes on the tasks—and role—of the missing parent.
When the missing parent returns and reclaims his or her position within the family, the child is sent back to his prior role of “child.” This transition can be painful and conflictual.
Nomadic tribes bring their extended families along on their voyages. If one parent is indisposed, the elders are there to care for the young. Their existential struggles are real, but their support system is protective.
Check out Dr. Judith Landau talk about trauma and recovery through generations in her TEDxVail talk. here is my article on Leadership starting at home and how drama at home can derail any leader in his or her effort to be present, aware, selfless, and compassionate at work and in life.
With the disappearance of village life, no wonder families today are finding life hard.