Investing in yourself

In my younger years, any mention of emotions, self-help, or personal development was met with ridicule. Years later, when I lived in Switzerland, telling someone I saw a therapist was tantamount to announcing I belonged in a mental asylum. Yet mentioning a visit to the local pastor was perfectly acceptable.

Investing in personal growth was never prioritized—unlike financial assets or intellectual pursuits.

For the ultra-high-net-worth community, financial investment comes naturally. We retain elite CPAs, advisors, lawyers, and family office managers to grow and protect our wealth. Yet we often neglect a crucial investment: ourselves.

In "Family Wealth," James E. Hughes argues that preserving wealth across generations requires more than financial and intellectual assets—it demands human development. Without this human element, the other pillars can crumble.

Consider a family where one member struggles with addiction and gambling, leading to reckless spending. While this person might become the "identified patient," they're often unconsciously acting out unresolved intergenerational trauma within the family system. Addiction is a family disease—when one member manifests these behaviors, it usually signals deeper, unhealed wounds that have been passed down through generations. Some family members might enable the behavior, others might withdraw completely, and still others might develop their own unhealthy coping mechanisms. No amount of financial planning can protect wealth when unaddressed trauma and dysfunction threaten the family's ability to function as a healthy unit.

Three categories of self-investment

1. Financial

These are the investments that ensure financial security, efficiency, and growth. This investment enhances your ability to manage and reinvest what you earn. This is best delegated to a skilled group of people:

• Hiring a CPA or financial advisor to optimize wealth planning

• Engaging a family office manager to streamline operations

• Purchasing a new income-yielding fund or property

Most UHNW individuals are well-versed in this realm, but refining financial investments can still yield significant personal and professional gains.

2. Intellectual

This is the mental part of who we are. Our brains need nourishment, which we receive from great schools. But the learning process should never stop:

• Acquiring new skills—whether it's organizational, learning a language, mastering a sport, or developing an art form including martial arts (see human below)

• Learning coaching skills to deepen your own expertise and leadership

• Hiring an expert mentor, consultant, or coach for personal and professional growth

For instance, I became an internationally certified coach after learning the basic coaching skills, to help my family and direct my staff. Now, I invest in my karate training with one of the best senseis in the world. I am also working with Bill Burnett and Howard Kaplan in The Designing What’s Next Experience as well as working with the digital contrarian.

3. Human

This is where many wealthy individuals fall short. Despite immense success in financial and intellectual pursuits, personal development is often neglected. The human element encompasses time, community, and physical well-being. They include:

• Therapy, to work through internal struggles and past traumas

• Life coaching to help identify values, boundaries, standards, and needs—structuring your day and improving habits

• Relational Trauma Workshop to fast-track getting clear of your past and release intergenerational trauma

• Go to a treatment center to get rid of your substance and process addictions

• Hiring a family coach or interventionist to deepen connections with family and friends and help ailing family members

• Energy management through meditation, spirituality, or mindful listening

• Try out martial arts such as tai chi, qi gong, karate, aikido, or kung fu

• Hire a personal trainer, or join a hiking, rowing, jogging group

• Get a sponsor and engage in the 12-step process to work on character, behavior patterns, and relationships

Without these investments, financial and intellectual successes can feel hollow. A robust sense of self-worth doesn't come from wealth alone—it must be nurtured through meaningful human investment.

The risk of over-investing

Money can buy access to the world's best coaches—Tony Robbins, Martha Beck, and other leading experts—but it can't buy more hours in the day. We all have the same 24 hours, and no amount of wealth can change that fundamental constraint.

The temptation with significant resources is to pursue everything at once. But effective self-investment requires focus: choosing one key area at a time and seeing it through. This strategic approach—whether focused on financial, intellectual, or human development—yields meaningful returns: enhanced self-esteem, greater control, and ultimately, a richer life.

If you’re in 12-step recovery…

One way to start investing in yourself is by joining our new weekly meetings. They’re free and limited to 25 people. If you struggle with boundaries at work, spending too much time working or on productivity, and your health and relationships are suffering, this group is for you. Focus on building authentic connections and sustainable life practices. Weekly assignments and support are provided. Click here to sign up.

Your ROI

Investing in yourself—across all three areas—yields invaluable returns: increased self-esteem, deeper fulfillment, better decision-making, and ultimately, a more meaningful life. You'll also become more marketable, attracting the right people in your life, and your personal growth will compound once you are operating from a place of integrity and have the right team.

While money can be earned, spent, and recovered, time is finite. Choosing the right investments, at the right time, ensures that wealth doesn't just accumulate but enriches the person who holds it.

I've invested in my karate teacher, DYL coaching, and digital marketing and sales. What will you invest in next?