I wish men could all be like my doormen
Take Lorenzo. He recognizes my routine. When he sees me walking out the door on my way to karate class wearing my backpack, he usually says, "kick some butt." And when I return red-faced and sweaty, and sometimes even limping, he goes, "Hard class, hey?"
Then there's Julito. He has back problems but he's always cheerful and asks me how I am and how my kids are. When things got hard with a loved one this past year, he said, "take it one day at a time."
Then there's Joe. He's a rock and roller who's always sharing his favorite songs with me. I swear if I put him and my 20-year old son in a room with guitars, they'd never leave.
And then there's Matthew. He's only 20. He loves Fritzli, my mini Schnauzer. Whenever we come in from a walk, Fritzli goes up to Matthew for a neck scratch. Matthew has a special touch which all the doormen are trying to copy. He can make Fritzli's back leg come off the ground and shake because he loves the massage so much.
Then there's Johnny the service guy. He's from the Dominican Republic. He has a daughter going to college. He's teaching me Spanish. Once while I was doing laundry, I told him and a housekeeper (a Haitian lady who I loved talking to in French and she's an expert in Egyptian hieroglyphics) that I was going on a date. "Bring him around for us to check out," they said. "We'll make sure he's good enough for you."
Then there are the dog walkers, Carlos and Carol. When they show up, Fritzli jumps off the couch and runs out the door to be with the other dogs—his friends—waiting outside.
What I love most about these people goes beyond reliability. I trust them completely. They keep good boundaries while staying professional. Their generosity of spirit shines through daily. Even on hard days, they stay positive. They have real integrity and never judge me. They just show up and care.
I will miss these guys. I've decided not to renew my lease. The management company tried raising my rent 14% and I got them down to 7%, but when I was about to sign the contract, I noticed they took an entire clause out without telling me. (Yes, I read contracts... I'm anal retentive. What can I say.) That pissed me off.
Plus, the cost of living in NYC has gotten out of control. According to the 2025 Numbeo and RentCafe survey, living here costs about 41% more than the state average and up to 77% more than the national average. Housing is the worst part—rents are a shocking 238% higher than the national average.
With what's going on in the world, I feel the need to make my life simpler. I'll go back to staying in hotels. Maybe, I'll get to see Carlo at the Loews bar again. He knows that I love double espresso. I'll have to tell him that I don't eat oatmeal anymore. I'm all about protein these days.
The people we depend on in our lives
The people who take care of us are everywhere: the doormen, the plumber, the contractor, the lawyer, your techie...
A friend told me yesterday that women love six men at any one time. I'm assuming she means the guy who's good in bed, the one who is ambitious and provides, the one who listens, the one who fixes stuff, the one who is smart, and the one who is a good father.
Perhaps, we need to just accept men for who they are and not force them to fulfill all roles.
Perhaps the secret is accepting each person for exactly who they are. My doormen are perfect at their jobs because they stay in their lane. You wouldn't ask your doorman to fix your computer, just like you wouldn't ask your techie to give relationship advice.
Just like with the men in our lives, I've noticed we often face these false choices. Back in Switzerland, my Outback has a button: Sporty or Intelligent. I don't like this either/or thing. Can't a car be sporty AND intelligent? Similarly, why can't a man be both sensitive and strong, practical and dreamy?
So, as I get ready to move out of my NY apartment, I'm sad. The doormen are so kind. They have shown me so much care and attention.
Being a single woman has its perks, but it's important to have people around who care. These doormen, service staff, and dog walkers have been my community. They've made my building feel like home. And no matter where I go next, I'll always remember how they made me feel seen and valued each day.